From: The Scotsman

Dr Doyle says that to lose even one pound a week takes a tremendous amount of effort.
"One pound of body weight is the equivalent of 3,500 calories and if you are eating 2,000 calories a day you need to cut out 500 calories a day to lose one pound in a week.
"It doesn’t sound a lot, but that little piece of maths shows just how difficult it is to lose weight and keep it off."

Week Eight (The Last one, thank god!)

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	Started	Lost	Target	Target	%age	BMI
The Heavy Lifting Team	Mon	Tue	Wed	Thu	Fri	Sat	Sun		So Far		Loss
Bill "Fat Bas*ard" Buchan	91.4	92.1		92.1	92.1			100.7	8.6	85.0	15.7	55	32.9
Coatsie	87.8	86.4						91.0	4.6	80.0	11.0	42	25.9
!ee	88.0				89.0			94.5	5.5	75.0	19.5	33	29
John "Diplomancy" Mill	107	107			107.5			110	2.5	80.0	30.0	8	28
	------								-----	-----
									23.2
The Den-Haag non-responders.
Jaya "Aryana" Baloo	61.6							61.6	0.0	50.0	11.6	13
Richard van den Berg	89.6	89.2			88.4			96.4	8.0	84.0	11.4	70
Hans "Mr Caffiend"	87.0			87.5				93.0	5.5	80.0	13.0	39
Coen "Slanky" Aukema	84.5							84.5	2.0	78.5	6.0	33
Paul R	--.-
	-----								-----
	235.8								14.6

• Chris Coates: Chinese Banquet == Bad
• John Mill: Pie, Beans and Chips washed down with beer - no effect
• Me - Bottomed out. Staying at home means toooo much temptation.

Week Seven (Post Dam-Busters)

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	Started	Lost	Target	Target	%age	BMI
The Heavy Lifting Team	Mon	Tue	Wed	Thu	Fri	Sat	Sun		So Far		Loss
Bill "Fat Bas*ard" Buchan			92.6		92.2	91.7	91.4	100.7	9.3	85.0	15.7	59	32.9
Coatsie	87.4	87.6	86.6	86.8	85.8			91.0	5.2	80.0	11.0	47	25.9
!ee		88.0	88.0	88.0				94.5	6.5	75.0	19.5	33	29
John "Diplomancy" Mill	109.0			107.5	107			110	3.0	80.0	30.0	8	35
	------								-----	-----
									23.2
The Den-Haag non-responders.
Jaya "Aryana" Baloo								61.6	0.0	50.0	11.6	13
Richard van den Berg	89.6			89.8				96.4	6.6	84.0	11.4	58
Hans "Mr Caffiend"	87.0							93.0	6.0	80.0	13.0	46
Coen "Slanky" Aukema								84.5	2.0	78.5	6.0	33
Paul R	--.-
	-----								-----
	235.8								14.6

• Not bad considering I've been surving on a diet of beer for the last seven days. And I still managed to lose weight! Must be the weeks worth of cycling around the Hague. My BMI has plummeted from 37 to 32.9. However, to get it under the magic "fat bastard=30" level - we're talking another seven kilos. To get it to "normal" - we're talking another 19 kilos. Which is like a leg or something. After Red Bob left, I've started another three day diet stage, finishing off next week with a cabbage soup diet, just for the finish straight.
• I'm still in second place - but only by a percentage point. Richard van den Berg is still leading, Coatsie is leading Hans by a percentage point. And Coen has stalled at 33%.

Week Six (Ohh my god)

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	Started	Lost	Target	Target	%age	BMI
The Heavy Lifting Team	Mon	Tue	Wed	Thu	Fri	Sat	Sun		So Far		Loss
Bill "Fat Bas*ard" Buchan								100.7		85.0	15.7	52	33.5
Coatsie	87.6	87.2	86.6	85.8	86.2			91.0	4.8	80.0	11.0	47	25.9
!ee	88.5				89.6			94.5	4.9	75.0	19.5	30	29
John "Diplomancy" Mill	107.0							110	3.0	80.0	30.0	8	35
	------								-----	-----
									14.7
The Den-Haag non-responders.
Jaya "Aryana" Baloo	61.6							61.6	0.0	50.0	11.6	13
Richard van den Berg	92.2			91.6	91.4		90.0	96.4	6.4	84.0	11.4	42
Hans "Mr Caffiend"							87.0	93.0	6.0	80.0	13.0	0
Coen "Slanky" Aukema	82.2							84.5	2.0	78.5	6.0	33
Paul R	--.-
	-----								-----
	235.8								7.4

Week Five (Why are we doing this to ourselves?)

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	Started	Lost	Target	Target	%age	BMI
The Heavy Lifting Team	Mon	Tue	Wed	Thu	Fri	Sat	Sun		So Far		Loss
Bill "Fat Bas*ard" Buchan	94.4	93.0	92.8	92.2	92.0	92.2	92.4	100.7	8.3	85.0	15.7	52	33.5
Coatsie	90.4	91.2	89.4	88.8	88.0		87.4	91.0	3.6	80.0	11.0	33	25.9
!ee								94.5		75.0	19.5	20	29
John "Diplomancy" Mill	106.8							110	3.2	80.0	30.0	8	35
	------								-----	-----
									14.7
The Den-Haag non-responders.
Jaya "Aryana" Baloo								61.6		50.0	11.6	13
Richard van den Berg	93.0							96.4	3.4	84.0	11.4	19
Hans "Mr Caffiend"	91.0					89.0		93.0	4.0	80.0	13.0	0
Coen "Slanky" Aukema								84.5		78.5	6.0	45
Paul R	--.-
	-----								-----
	235.8								7.4

Notes:

• Chris fell off the wagon at the South African embassy party. Well, if your going to do it, do it in style!
• I'm now doing the "three day diet". Day three and I'm starving..

Week Four (oh how the time flies.)

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	Started	Lost	Target	Target	%age	BMI
The Heavy Lifting Team	Mon	Tue	Wed	Thu	Fri	Sat	Sun		So Far		Loss
Bill "Fat Bas*ard" Buchan	94.2	94.6	95.2	94.6	93.7	94.0	93.5	100.7	7.2	85.0	15.7	46	37->33.5
Coatsie	88.0	88.2	88.0	87.8	88.2	88.4	89.8	91.0	1.4	80.0	11.0	26	27->25.9
!ee	90.5	90.5	91.5		90.5			94.5	4.0	75.0	19.5	20	29
John "Diplomancy" Mill	110	109.5	108.5	108	107.5	107	106	110	4.0	80.0	30.0	8	35->35
	------								-----	-----
									16.8
The Den-Haag non-responders.
Jaya "Aryana" Baloo		61.6						61.6	0.0	50.0	11.6	13
Richard van den Berg	94.2	s						96.4	2.2	84.0	11.4	19
Hans "Mr Caffiend"	93.0					92.0		93.0	1.0	80.0	13.0	0
Coen "Slanky" Aukema			81.8					84.5	2.7	78.5	6.0	45
Paul R	--.-
	-----								-----
	235.8								5.5

Week Three

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	Started	Lost	Target	Target	%age	BMI
The Heavy Lifting Team	Mon	Tue	Wed	Thu	Fri	Sat	Sun		So Far		Loss
Bill "Fat Bas*ard" Buchan	94.4	94.0	94.0			94.1	94.1	100.7	6.6	85.0	15.7	42	37->34.6
Coatsie	89.8	89.6	88.8	88.2	87.2	88.0	87.4	91.0	3.6	80.0	11.0		27->25.9
!ee		91.0	92.5		91.0			94.5	3.5	75.0	19.5		29
John "Diplomancy" Mill		110		110		110		110	0.0	80.0	30.0	00	35->35
	------								-----
									11.5	-----
The Den-Haag non-responders.
Jaya "Aryana" Baloo	61.0		60.0					61.6	1.6	50.0	11.6	13
Richard van den Berg	94.6							96.4	1.8	84.0	11.4	15
Hans "Mr Caffiend"		93.7			93.0			93.0	0.0	80.0	13.0	0
Coen "Slanky" Aukema	82.2							84.5	2.3	78.5	6.0	38
Paul R	--.-
	-----								-----
	235.8								5.5

Comments:

• See what happens when you exercise on the Atkins Diet ? You get muscle tissue (all that protein sloshing around). So I've lost fat tissue and gained 0.4kg of muscle. The "Laminate floor" exercise plan. Sigh. And all of last weeks pain for 1.2kg. Might have to alter my strategy somewhat.. Still got 9.4kg to go.
• After lots of analysis, fasting is out, BHF diet is out. Atkins remains. Eeek. Must be more strict. Perhaps less alcohol. Sigh.
• Scores on the doors. I'm in the lead with 42%, followed by Coen "I'll set a reasonable target" Aukema. Then !ee, Richard and Coatsie. Notable wooden spoons are John Mill - at 0%, but heading into the relegation zone - is Hans with negative 5%!
• Ah-ha! Progress. Atkins - after a while, the weight loss tails off. This is due to most peoples lack of appetite on Atkins after a week. Lack of eating promotes "famine" mode for the body - and the metabolic rate falls off. Therefore, your weight loss falls off. New spurt of enthusiasm for the late doctor's diet again. (So even though I was in ketosis, and fasted for 24 hours, I didnt lose any weight last week. The body had decided to slow down). Need to eat "normally" and exercise!
• Ahh. In the five-star hotel at the Beach in Den Haag. Might be a little difficult resisting all those chocolates left on the pillow..Arrrgh.!
• Friday. London. Pants takes me to the best Indian restaurant in town. The Atkins diet is slowly laid to rest. You always get a weight-gain at the end - mostly glycogen, and food (as you've been eating far less up to that point).

Week Two

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	Lost	Target	%age	BMI
The Heavy Lifting Team	Mon	Tue	Wed	Thu	Fri	Sat	Sun	So Far
Bill "Fat Bas*ard" Buchan	95.6	96.4	96.0	95.5	94.9	94.2	94.0	6.7	85.0	41.4	37->34.6
Coatsie	89.2	88.6	88.6	89.2	88.6	88.2	89.8	1.2	80.0	21.2	27->25.9
!ee	91.0	93.0	91.5					3.0	75.0		29
John "Diplomancy" Mill	108	110			110			0.0	80.0	00.0	35->35
	------							-----	-----
	383.8	<-- Thats 11.6 kilos in a WEEK!						12.5
The Den-Haag non-responders.
Jaya "Aryana" Baloo	60.2		61.0					0.6
Richard van den Berg	94.6	94.6						1.8
Hans "Mr Caffiend"	--.-	92.2						0.8
Coen "Slanky" Aukema	81.0		82.2					2.3
Paul R	--.-
	-----							-----
	235.8	<-- Thats 6.7 kilos in a week!						5.5

Comments:

• Me. Stalled on Monday. Had a huge amount of Chicken Fahita, without the taco. Must have been lots of carbs lurking in the sauce. Damn.
  • Apparently, not allowed to do wine or whishhhky on this diet. Well. Wrong!
• Coatsie - Atkins now working. No Caffeine, no alcohol. Bugger that!
  • Tetchy ? Noooo..
• ee!, and John. Both Starved. Both put on weight. D'oh!
• Hans. Week skiilng, beering, etc. And lost 0.8kg.
• By Saturday, I'd lost 1.4kg for this week. The diet "stall" on Tuesday/Wednesday was more serious than I thought. Else the "Atkins bowel blockage" is having more effect than normal.
• On Saturday, I came off the "person with the worst BMI" position, leaving Mr Mill firmly rooted to the bottom of that league.

Week one

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	So Far	Target	%age	BMI
The Heavy Lifting Team	Mon	Tue	Wed	Thu	Fri	Sat	Sun
Bill "Fat Bas*ard" Buchan	100.7	??	??	98.0	??	??	96.0	4.7	85.0	29.0	37->36
Coatsie	91.0	91.0	90.2	90.4	90.4	90.4	??	0.6	80.0	5.4	27->26
!ee	94.5	94.0	93.5	93.5	93.5			1.0	75.0	6.2	29->28
John "Diplomancy" Mill	110	110	111	110	109			1.0	80.0	3.3	35->35
	------							-----	-----
	396.2							7.3	72.7
The Den-Haag non-responders.
Jaya "Aryana" Baloo	61.6		Off to a great start -very enthusiastic. But nothing since
Richard van den Berg	96.4		Jaya stole the scales and put them in the office.
Hans "Mr Caffiend"	93.0		Ski-ing this week
Coen "Slanky" Aukema	84.5		Has the flu. At least *thats* an excuse!
Paul R	--.-		Doesnt want to know his weight.
	-----
	242.5

End of week one. In my case, despite:

• A huge eight course japanese on Monday
• Living out of a suitcase all week (Amsterdam, Eindhoven, Den Haag, Brugge, and Frankfurt)
• Eating a very small amount of chocolate
• Consuming vast amounts of red wine and whisky
• Not having access to a set of scales that worked (for instance, Holiday Inn Den Haag stated I was 93! Wooppeee!)
• Having to go to Brugge - the beer and chocolate capital of the world - on a LOW-CARB DIET.. Aaarrgh!
• Oh - did I tell you - I quit smoking two weeks ago ?

I've still lost 4.7 kilos! Wooppeee!

Other goss:

• Coatsie is being sabotaged by his wife's cooking. And going onto Atkins next week.
• John Mill is now drinking "low-cal" john smiths beer.
• Paul R's target is to fit into 38-inch jeans. Since he's straining on a 40-inch pair at the mo, we're talking a 2 inch girth loss.
• !ee wants Lard.

Convert Weights and heights
Better BMI Calculator

Name	Where	Who	Vital Stats
			Height	BMI	Start	Target	Needs to Loose
Bill "Fat Bas*ard" Buchan	All over	Need you ask? Okay. First human to conduct lifelong stress test of own liver.	165	37	100kg	85kg	15kg
Coatsie	Den Haag	Websphere guru.	185	27	91kg	80	11kg
!ee	London Village	Overseer. Corporate Sadist.	182	29	94.5kg	75	16kg
John "Diplomancy" Mill	S'Hampton	Exterminator of living things. Nailer of food.	177	35	110kg	80kg	30kg
Jaya "Aryana" Baloo	Den Haag	Network Security Specialist and instigator of "Wilderbeest" discussion. Doesnt like hangovers	157	25	61.6kg	50kg	11kg
Richard van den Berg	Den Haag	Network Security and Sun Guru. Specialist Subject: Being obsessive.	187	27	96.4kg	84kg	10kg
Hans "Mr Caffiend"	Den Haag	Sun Guru. Specialist Subject: Coffee tensile strength testing.	176	32	93kg	80kg	30kg
Coen "Slanky" Aukema	Den Haag	Business director and father. Specialist subject: ABN Amro through the ages.	185	23	84.5kg	78.5kg	6kg
Paul R	Den Haag	Labeller of things	193	32	120kg	To fit into jeans.	30kg

The rules:

1. Starts on Monday 7th April. Competitors must submit starting weight at that point, and finalise target weight at that time.
2. Finishes Friday 2nd of May, at 5pm. Weigh-in via internet or at office in Den Haag.
3. Winner is person who has lost the most amount of their target weight in percentage terms.
4. Loser is the person who has lost the least amount of their target weight in percentage terms
5. Competitors must register their "first thing in the morning" weight every morning (via this web site)
6. Spectators can bet, jeer, boo, encourage, or just be downright rude on a daily basis to each or all of the competitors.
7. Liposuction/amputation not allowed.
8. Weight to be measured under "normal" circumstances. No lead shoes at the start, or helium at the end.
9. No life-threatening diets. You die - your problem.
10. Cheating, such as feeding other competitors chocolate, encouraged.
11. Dropouts to be ritually humiliated.
12. Loser to be ritually humiliated
13. Special prizes:
    1. Sneakiest cheat
    2. Most amount of kilos lost
    3. Least amount of kilos lost (The "gutless wonder" prize)
    4. Worst "fall off the wagon" story.
14. Prizes to be revealed closer to the time.

Quite scary. Four of us want to lose more than 10kg in four weeks. Something considered insane by the medical community. And despite it all, I have the highest BMI. Which means that someone else might have to keep the scores...


Big Blubba

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