So I'm sitting here, whiling the time away writing firewall rules, when some chump calls me. Fairly heavy Indian/American accent, no satellite lag, and lots of call center noise in the background. And of course a 'masked' international number. Probably on his lunch break from annoying people about PPI.
I've got nothing better to do, so I figure keeping him on the phone for as long as possible would be an amusing game. The guy had real difficulty with his script - I suspect he kept losing his place, so I suspect i was his first.
'This is General Internet Security - we run the central server - and every time you connect to the internet, we get a notification. This could be because you have a virus. We need to check you're running some Microsoft Services'.
I kept saying 'Oh - thats really bad'. Interrupting his script put him off, so I did that a few times.
'We need to make sure you're running some Microsoft Services'.
I'm looking around my office. Macbook Pro. Mac Mini. iPad. And a lone windows 8 desktop, locked down better than a beer at a temperance festival.
I asked him who he was calling from. He changed from 'General..' to 'Universal Internet Services'. I picked him up on that. I suspect at this point he had decided he wasn't talking to some slack jawed, Tea-Party Luddite moron.. And then I asked him for a contact number I could get him back on.
So he hung up. Hilarious. I'd not even got to 'Finder, Applications.. Which service?'.
The lesson is that most companies will not call you up blind. Hell, even *if* you pay the likes of IBM or Microsoft do actually do this, its most unlikely they will.
When you get a fool like this on the line - just have fun with them. The longer you keep them on the phone, the less lucrative this is for them. Or make it deeply unpleasant. 'What colour underwear are you wearing' really freaks most guys out.