Printing & Murphy's Law

iLug is only three days away, and I can *taste* that guinness. However, in the meantime, I volunteered to print off the agendas. "Fine", I thought. It'll all fit in four sides of A4 (A sort of superior "Letter" for you McMericans). I'll get me mate to print them out on his Xerox A3 laser, settle with beer and money for consumables, job done.. Ah. Printer broken..

Okay. Well, lets try designing this thing. Well. Three tracks, two days, eight sessions, 20+ speakers and 15+ sponsors. Okay. So EIGHT sides of A4, not four. And we'll need about 250.. So thats 2,000 sides of A4. No worries.

I pop along to one of many Reprographics shops in Aberdeen. They want a pound ($2 US) per page. I think NOT!

Mm. A3 printers.. Here's one.. Can they deliver ? Order a printer on Thursday. Thinks, "A week to go, no worries".

By Sunday, I was starting to get a little skittish. No news. Would it come before Tuesday ? Sooo. I started to print out on A4, on my previously reliable HP 2400. Nice. So lots of money later at Tescos, getting cartridges, and I get started.

500 sides later, feeling pretty good. Then I noticed the date at the top of the agenda was wrong. Aaaarrrggggh!. Start again.

Meanwhile the previously reliable printer was showing some odd side effects. I'd stack 50-100 sheets of nice shiny, glossy paper in it, and it would stall, spit, chew, and pull through multiples at a time. Okay. Some alcohol (no, not the whisky) and cotton buds later.. Another half a ream gone..

Its got to the stage that the printer only behaves if I watch it. If I dont, it'll chew, spit and gargle. It'll wait till I've done one side before one ink cartridge runs out on the other, thus spoiling hours worth of work.

And today. Get a call from SWMBO. "There's a package". Okay. Off I go to pick it up. Start to get worried when I see two blokes carrying a pallette between them. And look over the car-park to the Mini, thinking "Will it fit".?. Phew. It fitted. Just. And so the new A3 is unpacked, and sitting in the Daughters "Studio". (She owns over half the house now, and wants to take over my 4 feet by 4 feet office. I think NOT!).

So both printers are whirring, paper is being printed. Less than a thousand to go now, and I still have a night to spare. Which means I have time to get some amusing "time cards" made up for the speakers - some of which *love* to waffle on..

God. I hate paper.