Carnoustie Golf Club...

Carnoustie Golf club is where Samuel L Jackson - the original BMF - famously wore a kilt. Famous place among the Sunday Morning wife avoiders, apparently. (I'm sure when I'm much much older - too old to cock a leg over a motorbike, for instance - I'll probaby think about it)

And today, whilst travelling home, I was travelling on a train that almost killed three people.

Around 6pm or so, we were belting past Carnoustie Golf Course doing about 100mph, when the driver jammed on the brakes, and the horn.. I didnt realise those sprinter trains took sooo long to stop - I'm guessing at least two miles.

Just before we stopped, I saw three 15-20 year old blokes, waving golf clubs, leaping the fence back into the Golf Course.

And we sat there for a good five minutes. The announcement came over that "Three idiots" had almost been killed and the driver was pretty shaken up. After a while, the train started and went at about 15mph for the two miles or so into Carnoustie station.

Another long stop. During this, I saw the driver walk down the platform - an older bloke, solid sort of guy.. On the outside, reasonably well composed. But his eyes told a slightly different story. This poor guy just had a near miss - where he would have had the ringside seat watching three people splattered up against his windscreen - and if he was lucky, it might have held.

Well. We sat there for another 30 or so minutes - waiting for the next northbound train - to join up and the other train driver to take over.

Should the Carnoustie Golf Club somehow read this story. Find out who those three yobbish members were - and ban them immediately. Oh yeah - "No-one was hurt", etc. Bollocks.

I'm certain that poor driver will be reliving this day for some considerable time to come.

And think of this. I'm sure if any of us passengers could have tracked those fecking idiots down - we would have probably tied them to the tracks ourselves.