Lotusphere 2005 Stories

Its difficult to summarise seven days of conversations, But I'll try:

  • Trillian. Should you embed the dog emoticon into your screen name in MSN, Trillian will perform the sound for that emoticon when you log in and out. I wondered why my damn computer was barking at me - turns out to be Declan. It was driving me *nuts*
  • IBM Salesfolks are now comp'd (commissioned) on BP products. So no excuses. Get laid into the IBM partner sales stuff and get IBM selling your products! I hope you did your IBM Marketing one-to-one..
  • Trust Factory had a great show - various senior IBM salesfolks and various senior Iris folks looked at DNA. Their collective jaws dropped - no-one believed you could extract such comprehensive information about a domino environment. (I *told* them this two years ago, but Wouter thought I was blowing smoke up his ass). So  if they get bought out for a million bucks - Wouter - you owe me a beer. (Seriously check out their product. Its good!)
  • Eileeen of APC had to put up with a lot from us. Every time she was late, we did the Dexy's midnight runners "Come On Eilleen" at here. Then we decided she needed a blog. She sounds like Mrs Doyle from "Father Ted", so what better domain name than "ywywywyw.com" ?
  • The optimism has returned to the marketplace. And so has the budget. ALL the guys in the showcase reported far better results than last year, more folks with budget, more folks interested in buying. And to think us iDM folks had stands for the last two years, and didnt have one this year ? Bums!
  • Microsoft had two stand bunnies at their stand - in the shape of Gary Devendorf and Charlie Kaufmann. Okay, not attractive in the classic sense. But it was positive in that Microsoft finally decided (possibly due to Gary's insistence) that they had to co-operate and try to sell to the Domino crowd. Also - Ed admitting that he and Gary "slept together"..
  • Cheeze moment on stage: Pluto appeared at the closing ceremony. How many of us secretly hoped it would be Ambusj in there - entirely possible after they got Zoller in a spacesuit in 2000.
  • The war between Iris and IBM is over. IBM doesnt treat Domino as its bastard child anymore, and now believes Domino is a good thing. Credit due to Ambusj, methinks. Now that IBM is being consistent about stuff like this, we can expect far far more Domino customers in the nex few years. 200m is the target..
  • Exchange is dead. The E12 announcement fell flat. ("Yawn", "Disappointed", etc). So where are these microsoft collaboration customers going ? Ed's Slides on this were interesting. (I'm doing a customer "Domino versus Exchange" presentation in mid february with an Exchange guy. Will tell you how it goes.). Quote from Ambusj on Exchange:
    "Half of Microsoft's base is still on Exchange 5.5, a seven year old platform. Microsoft has promised collaboration for last seven years in Exchange, but never shipped, promised Kodiak, but decided to kill the project, declared E12 as the future, but not any details.What is really the future of Exchange?"
    Or how about this one from Bob Babalan?
    re: Microsoft Sharepoint - It's fun to watch the new guys; sort of like having kids - they stumble, they don't quite know how to do anything. It's just so darn cute.
  • Domino 7 in Workplace. No migration. Its the Domino engine. No 'Rip and Replace'
  • ND7 performance is up. Spectacularly. For no additional RAM. Kewl. Couple that with DB2 integration, and you have a "must-have" upgrade.
  • Client-wise, a whole raft of environmental centralised-control features, new mail template features, better smartupgraded control, etc. Given that most folks out there are on ND6, a pain-free upgrade path for most.
  • Domino supports 10 platforms. 10. Exchange supports one. Say "Enterprise support" a few times, and you can see the picture.
  • The free internet connection in the Dolphin rooms is pretty good. Better than most wireless infrastructures, to be sure.
  • Removing the battery from your new XDA 2s phone during your hour long presentation is NOT a good idea. Anything more than 20 minutes, and the thing is wiped. Looks like I'll have to actually read the manual on this one.
  • Comfortable shoes for Lotusphere this year was a huge bonus. As was staying on site. Well, aside from having 20+ geeks partying in my room till 4am on Sunday AM. Oh - the mini-bar bill from that episode - and we cleared that mini-bar - was only 40 bucks! (Phew)
  • DONT go to Lotusphere still developing someone's web site. And DONT go without having practiced (in the nude) your presentation. Because that all ate 2.5 days out of my time, where I could have been going to sessions, networking like crazy, and talking to people about iDM.
  • Shula's in the Dolphin sells excessive amounts of meat. Like a 48 ounce (3.5 POUND, 1.75KG) steak. Excessive. I went for the smallest 22 ounce steak. Wasnt hungry for days.
  • John Cleese at the opening session calling "All Americans' Assholes. They seem to like that".. and lest you think he hates Americans, "All three of my wives are American, and I'm sure that my fourth will be too". Turns out he ate at Shula's on Sunday night. And no-one spotted him ?
  • Steven Wright - the Comedian - at the closing session, talking about his dog, "Snatches"..
  • Flicking crutons onto Mike Rhodin's wife plate at the Penumbra dinner. And asking the CTO of Lotus what he did at IBM. Oh - and laying into one of Ambusj's henchman about lack of IBM support for Domino in big accounts. God. And that was without a drink! (Fultons crab-house at Downtown Disney is one of the nicest restaurants on-site. Especially on the second-floor deck. Amazing view)
  • Cracking open the returned bottle of whisky (A highland park 12-year old malt) after my presentation.. Lovely.
  • The google-bomb of Duffbert over this incident..
  • Giveaway at the stands next year. "Nose snorkels".
  • Seeing the look on Chuck Deans' (Not Chris..) face when he won the 44 inch plasma screen. Very happy man.

  • Meeting Debbie at the bar at the airport. She overheard me saying 'Hi, Bill Buchan' into my phone. And said 'are you Bill Buchan'.. Turns out that she's still working at Cheese International, and on a project I headed last year. Lots of war stories... She missed the first 10 minutes of my presentation and the rest didnt make any sense. Cue short version of presentation, using beermats as Objects..
  • Note that this isnt ANY of the main talking points of Lotusphere - you can find those all over the web!

All in all, the best lotusphere since 1999. See you all there in 2006!