PVR ?

Okay. Here's todays internet challenge, as thrown down by the missus. I need a DVD recorder with a built in hard drive (capable of 80+ hours of recording) with 5:1 surround sound, able to read DIVX either from CDR material or from the ethernet port that I *have* to have on the back, so I can watch movies ripped onto my PC at home. It has to have a Tivo-style interface, so I can record "all comedy" or recurring programs. Oh -and it has to work with a conventional Sky TV box (most do with a smart SCART cable). Now I can get *some* of these features (Panasonic now do a DVD Recorder with hard drive). And it has to work in the UK (Tivo 2 doesnt.. Sigh). And I'd love *not* to give 10 or 20 quid to the News International/Sky TV people either..
So folks - heard of any device that does *all* that ?